Dakota Lumber Doghouse

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12/11/18

A 9 year-old Simcoe, Ontario, Canada girl called 911 on Saturday after her parents asked her to clean her room. The tween asked cops to come and help her. The police refused and released a statement saying; “Whether false alarms are intentional or unintentional, they tie up the phone lines at the communications centre, waste taxpayer money, tie-up law enforcement officers and threaten lives.”

Georgia and Chris Polglase, of Penzance, England, recently had a Star Wars-themed wedding. The couple met on the dating site Plenty of Fish before getting engaged and tying the knot. Chris is a huge Star Wars fan. Guests dressed as Star Wars characters. At one point, a Stormtrooper and a man dressed as Chewbacca were dancing together on the dance floor. The couple also had a Star Wars cake.

A guy in L.A. tried to take advantage of Burger King’s deal where you can get a Whopper for a penny if you order it on their app while you’re at McDonald’s . . . but somehow, it got messed up, and he was charged $1,093.91.  Burger King says they’ll work with him to figure out how that happened.

A woman in Pennsylvania was rushing to the hospital to give birth last week, but she had to pull over and deliver the baby in a TACO BELL parking lot.  She and the baby are doing great, but she says, quote, “I think, at least, we deserve some nachos out of this.”

A restaurant in Toronto just created a pizza that uses bacon and PANCAKES as a topping.  And each pancake has a little pat of butter, and syrup on top.  There’s no word on how it tastes.

Ethan Bramble, of Melbourne, Australia, has gotten his eyeballs tattooed black. The 22 year-old is addicted to ink and is tattooed from his head to his toes. He says his most painful body modification was his tongue split.

A Grinch recently stole two diamond engagement rings from a Suffolk, Virginia Kay Jewelers. The unidentified man entered the store and asked to see the rings. He examined them before running out and fleeing on his brown bicycle. Cops have released surveillance video of the man in hopes someone will recognize him.

A guy in Cincinnati was arrested over the weekend for stealing boxes off people’s porches.  So what did he trade his freedom for?  Women’s clothing . . . a pair of gym shorts . . . a bag of dog food . . . and a half-gallon jug used for testing urine